The In-Between Places

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The world felt close- but unreachable.

I didn't know what to call it for a long time.

That feeling of being here, but not really here.

Like I was walking through the world but watching it from a step behind myself.

It wasn't like I was totally numb.

I couldn't still see, still hear, still feel things.

But everything felt distant.

Faint.

Like I was wrapped in quiet.

Sometimes it felt like I was watching everyone else live.

Like life was happening around me, but I couldn't catch up.

I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere.

Not to people.

Not even to myself.

The city was alive, but I felt far away.

But photography met me in that space.

I didn't realize it at first,

but it gave me a way to speak without using words.

That's what these photos are.

A bird behind a fence.

A city behind the trees.

A helicopter, small against a big sky.

They're not loud.

But they feel like something I've felt for a long time.

Like I'm still outside, but holding onto something beautiful anyway.

So small, so distant- yet it was still moving. And somehow, so was I.

And maybe that's the crazy part... even though I felt disconnected from the world,

I was slowly getting closer to Him.

Not through loud prayers or big moments,

but in the quietest places.

Place I didn't expect Him to be.

The more I felt far from the world, the more I started to notice His nearness.

In soft light.

In stillness.

In the ache I couldn't explain.

I didn't need to have it all together for Him to stay.

I didn't need to know what to say.

Even when I didn't feel like I was fully here... He was.

I'm still figuring out how to return to the world ...

but I know now, I'm not returning alone.

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A quiet summary, through my lens.

Sometimes the quiet says what I couldn't.